Initiation

This is how I was initiated into Spiritualism.

 I don’t know if I was born a medium, although everyone is born psychic.  I can remember strange things happening when I was 10 years old but have been told of earlier events.  I did the tarot cards for fun, using the book like everyone else but never anything more.

My husband has been into Spiritualism since he was very young and so grew up with it.  There are gypsies on my side of the family and all my children are very psychic.  So I don’t know if it is genetic, that is another debate.

My first real experience with Spirit was between the age of 12 and 14.  I was always different but didn’t understand why at the time.  It made growing up very bad.

I had just lost my Grandad and felt upset he had left me; I use to speak out loud in my room at night crying, asking ‘Why did you leave me?’

At around the same time I started to see faces come out of the wall, the face was long and dark skinned with jet black hair going into a widows peak, he looked like Count Dracula, you might laugh but can you imagine a 12 year old saying they are scared of vampires, so I didn’t tell. He scared me for years; I always hid under the blankets at night so I wouldn’t see him.

Years later talking to a friend who was a medium, I mentioned the man who use to visit me, I had not thought about him in over 15 years.  As we talked she described the man to me and suddenly realisation sank in, it was my grandad, not the one I remembered and cried for but the one I had never met, he died before I could remember him.  He was off the Gypsy side and that is why he looked that way, but to a 12 year old there is no rationalisation.  (Spirit can only use what you know and I did not remember that Grandad so my mind took on its own interpretation.  The reason he came was because I had asked him to, not realising I had two Grandad’s when I asked my Grandad to come forward.)  He had not meant to scare me.

Now I find it funny but not at the time.

My initiation was different in so many ways; it was like ‘Ghost’  the movie.

One morning I woke up and had the urge to read about Spiritualism, I had an interest but didn’t know what to do.  I went to the library and read every book I could get my hands on to do with Spiritualism. My husband had been into Spiritualism early so I pestered him for information, constantly asking questions till eventually he exploded.  ‘Go to the place that can answer your questions, the Spiritualist church' he shouted.

What did I do next?

It just happened a friend was attending a church and offered to take me.

When the Sunday came around I thought to myself ‘at least I might get a healing’. Although I had never been healed before and didn’t know what it entailed, I had been told it can help with all ailments and I will try anything once.

When we walked in it was just a hall, not like I had imagined.  There was a table with a cloth on it at the top of the hall and seats occupied the rest of the area.  My stomach had butterflies and I didn’t know why.

I watched and listened in awe and wished I could do that.

I didn’t get a message but I enjoyed the experience after the interval I went for a healing, feeling self conscious as I walked out of the room down the hall and into a small side room.  I went in and looked around; there was soft music in the background.  A woman beside a chair indicated to me to walk over and sit down.  Shaking visibly the lady reassured me telling me to close my eyes and relax.  What an experience, and I was not in pain for the next three days.  At the end of the healing she spoke softly and told me I should meditate, I didn’t know what that was but said ‘Thank you’ anyway.

I told my husband all about my experience and he was not impressed, I had made arrangements to go on the Wednesday.

Wednesday came and my friend never turned up to go to church so I had to stay at home.  I was not in a good mood as I had been looking forward to it.  I ended up arguing with my husband and screamed ‘you won’t help me; you won’t even show me how to meditate.’

‘Ok’ he said, ‘sit down, shut up and close your eyes.  That was my initiation into meditation.

Nothing happened and I didn’t feel anything different so I sat the next night, still nothing, or so I thought.

I meditated at 10pm when the kids were in bed so I wouldn’t be disturbed.

About 12am my eldest boy screamed, we ran down stairs to see if he was alright, when we arrived he told us he had seen a man in his room.  We settled him down and went back to the living room, talking about what had just happened, we thought of who it might be.  My husband knowing about Spirit wasn’t worried.

We went to bed about 1am but my son came into our bed because he was still scared.  As I lay in bed I felt a draught on my leg, nothing unusual you might think until you realise it would have to come from under the door, turn right, go up the side of the bed, and go under the covers and along my legs. You get the idea, not really possible.  After ten minutes of getting the courage up to look over the covers because I felt someone was there and I might see them and working out how the draught could reach me.  Eventually I looked.

Nothing.

I tried to get back to sleep but I saw faces coming out of the dark towards me, faces of people I had never seen before, I did identify some after though.  Next seem to be someone playing basket ball, they bounced the ball towards me and threw it at my face at the same instant my head flew off the pillow as the ball hitting my face.  Next I felt I was being drawn towards a vortex of light, I grabbed onto everything to stop my self from going into it because I thought it meant you would not come back (I now know better and missed out on an amazing experience).

I lay still again with my eyes open this time and heard whistling, at first I thought it was from outside but I knew it was in the hall. When I could not deny it any longer my husband asked ‘Do you hear that?’  ‘What?’  I replied playing dumb.

‘That whistling.’

‘What does it sound like?’ I asked still being dumb.

He described the whistle the same way as I was hearing it.  So he made us go and investigate.  We went up stairs and looked around but found no one.  It was now about 4am and we finally got some sleep.

And that was only the beginning.

Hope you enjoyed my story. If you have an initiation into Spirit I would love to read it and put it on my web site.

Spirits do not mean to scare us.